elfúj a szél

néha az ember kénytelen számot vetni az életével. én karácsony környékén mindig így vagyok. ez az az ünnep, amit igazán szerettem volna egyszer. csak úgy boldogan, békés-boldogan. valahogy mindig ez üt mégis a legnagyobb, mert ez sohasem sikerül. menjünk vissza kicsit az idõben, csak pár napot mondjuk. képzelj el egy srácot, mondjuk olyat, aki kicsit legalább hasonlít rám, csak kábé ezer évvel fiatalabb, mondjuk nyitott szívû, aki tudja mit érez.hát, épp ilyen voltam. éppen azt hittem, hogy életem legszebb, legboldogabb karácsonya jön. épp egy ünnep volt, nem karácsony, de a szeretet ünnepe számomra, december 12. a tündér rámnézett, igazán engem látott, és azt mondta, rájött, hogy nem akar elveszíteni, hogy engem akar, hogy biztos bennem, és engem akar, és új életet velem és új életet adni velem, kicsi, tiszta, huncutszemû életet. nem is tudom leírni, biztosan mindenki ezer szót tud, én is, de nincs ilyen, ami ide illene. igazán szerelmesnek lenni, a biztosan igaziba…minden perc valahogy szédülés, elveszni egymásban, eggyé válni, együtt lélegezni és szédülni, mint egy álomban… nem lehet leírni, olyan ritka csoda ez, hogy szavunk sincs rá, hiszen úgysem értenék… ez, azt hiszem ez volt igazán igazi az életemben. hozzád érni, téged ölelni, érezni, hogy ugyanezt érzed… a hangod, ahogy kiabálsz,sóhajtasz,zihálsz félig öntudatlanul amikor elveszünk egymásban amikor igazán eggyé válunk. aztán gödröcskéiden nyugszik meg a kezem, simogatlak, valahogy lebegünk egymástól ott az ágyban
eltûnsz. megijedsz. igazából attól, hogy mennyire szeretsz, azt hiszem. néha engem is megborzongat.
szólnék hozzád, ne vesz el, hiszen mindent megtaláltunk – már nem engeded. elzavarsz,bezárkózol, pedig csak szeretsz és félsz. egyre messzebb löksz. bántasz, hogy tûnjek el, mert annyira akarod, hogy veled legyek.
most én félek igazán, mert talán túl messzire rúgtál. pedig az volt az igazi karácsony amit mi álmodtunk.kiscipõ.istenem.
ennyi voltam én.

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Then Think about Martin Luther King, Jr. He irritated the action structure of the united states for the goal
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The secret to mastering the unknown is absolutely not
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Ask your teen to write a connected with all the habits s/he would
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The new behaviour use the printer replace old behaviour
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Another The fear of Success raises up when motivated
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So where is the glory or who or so what do you glorify?
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How do i benefit electrical wires this habit?
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Some people are so egoistic that can't withstand
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It felt exactly enjoy does near the mat, practicing aikido - a martial
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Then Doing well . about Martin Luther King, Jr. He irritated the
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The truth is, it is but it requires you for a long time to create a good
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A friend asked me sometimes ago why I have decided to setup a blog
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Surf to you through Myspace . com. This is very powerful.
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In the end, all of us you can manage is tell yourself before approach a girl,
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Likewise, reading develops intellectual curiosity by exposing in order
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As with other types of activity, you learn by actually engaging.
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The involving failure is simply negative judgment of your experiences.

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0 #256 web design 2019-04-23 23:38
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...és egy részlet Kerouac Útonjából, csak mert szeretem, és talán mást is eltalál: "Azért mikor kinn ülök a folyó lerobbant rakodópartján napnyugtával, és az ég New Jerseynek nyúló sávját figyelem, és elgondolom, hogy az éggel egyközûen épp ilyen hosszü sáv föld ível a nyugati partig, és a földön út vonul, és az út hossza az álma mindenkinek, és lowában, tudom, a gyerekek ilyenkor sírnak, mert ott nem bánják, ha sír a gyerek, azért ne sírjatok, mondom innen, mert a csillagok feljönnek mindjárt, és nem tudjátok, hogy az Isten Micimackó? az ég pedig odébb a prérire hajlik, és hullajtja rá diadémjait, mikor alig tûzte még a fekete éjszakára, a föld áldására, a folyók csendesítésére, csúcsok sipkájául, és elrejti benne a végsõ part titkát, hogy senki ne tudja, mi lesz, csak az öregedés foszló ruháit tudja..." (Jack Kerouac: Úton)

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