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- Részletek
- Írta: éjszárny zöldi
-apró kis állatok vagyunk egy végtelen labirintus folyosóiban. egymásba marunk akaratlanul is,mert annyira közel akarunk lenni,hogy néha hiûnytik már a tér. szabadság illúziója a rohanásban,az útvesztõ szinte végtelenné válik ahogyan egymásba nyílnak a folyosók. apró kis állatok,ahogyan vágyunk egy másik test melegére. enni adunk egymásnak egy öleléssel. és talán csillapítja a lázat illatod.
szabadnak hiszed magad,egy apró állatnak egy egész világ még a börtön is. és amikor zsákutcába kerülsz ás falnakkoppant fejjel a sarokba zuhansz és összegömbölyödsz,már egyedül vagy és zuhansz,mert szembe kell nézned önmagaddal,egy apró állattal.menekülnél egy ölelésbe,mert érezni akarod hogy nem vagy egyedül és olyan õrült öleléssel menekülsz magad elõl,hogy öntudatlan is megsebzed,ahogyan elvakít a vágy
(nézel ébredõ mosoly a szemed,és minden könycsepp utazni kezd ahogy nyílik mosolyod.ilyenkor mindig máshogy szeretlek kicsit,mert az ilyen pillanatokban az vagy akit kerestem. álarcod kicsit lemossa a harmatos bánat,és látom ki vagy ahogy rések nyílnak a görcsös önvédelem falai mögött,mert neked is várad van belõle hogy senki se bántson)
-az elsõ kíváncsi utainkat jártuk a labirintusban amikor egymásba botlottunk egy esti folyosón.szavak nélkül mentünk és valahogy lassan egymáshoz értünk.jó volt ez a közelség pedig még el sem kezdtünk félni hogy talán kiút sincs az útvesztõbõl. aztán az egyik fal elõtt te másfelé fordultál,talán észre sem vettem,mikor volt mikor elindultál. aztán valahol,valahol belém mart a hiány. ültem és kerestelek a többi apró állat áradatában. nem akartam elindulni,csak vártam h véletlen lehessen hogy nem vagy és utolérhess. visszafelé indultam,aztán mégsem,aztán körbe-körbe jártam hátha valamelyik fal még õrzi illatod. a kör egyre szûkült, és rûdöbbentem egy éjszakán hogy már régóta csak magamban kereslek. elveszítettelek mégsem tudtam elhinni, és akartam érteni hol vagyok,mert hittem hogy ez elvezet ismét hozzád. akartam ismerni és érteni a labirintust és minden törvényét hogy ha kell ki tudjam játszani csak visszajussak hozzád. megtaláltam a varázslat forrását és elmeröltem benne,mert ha magamba néztem vele,átláthattam a falakon is. repültem valami egyszerû álmot a füstben, és távoli örvénnyé vált minden gondolat hogy egyszerre befogja szemem.
végtelenné nyílt minden kõ az útvesztõben és por lett aztán por sem csak nyilott végtelen részletek felé az érzékelés. akartalak és gondolkoztam,és vágytam rád és repültem és gondolkoztam és gondolkoztam...
mikor kezdtem megszokni hogy az a fájó üresség vagy benne,valami hiány ami átszõ mindent láthatatlan és keserû ráncokkal az álom homlokán,már ott voltál újra és az elsõ pillanattól ismét minden lettél és én boldog akartam lenni és nem akartam érezni rajtad a másik állat szagát. kellett neked az a szag és így én sem tudtam nem érezni. abba öltöztél valamikor és nem akartad levenni igy nem érinthettelek hiába õrültem érted
(te most sem tudod hogy látom ahogyan ott ül benned és talán sohasem eresztenéd,ahogyan belém rúgsz és én képtelen vagyok elhinni hogy az a te lábad,mert ha hinném,már nem tudnálak szeretni)
belezavarodom ebbe a mesébe is,mert már ez az emlék sem olyan mint amilyen volt valamikor.változik bennem a múlt szakadatlanul,és minden perccel több lesz amire már csak emlékezem. nem tudom már ezt a mesét sem felidézni amiben egyszerre akartalak tanítani és vígasztalni.már csak arra emlékszem pontosan,hogy ott és akkor amikor takarót szõttem ebbõl a mesébõl és simogatást,akkor olyan lett amilyennek akartam és minden ami közöttünk feszült alakot öltött az útvesztõ árnyékaiban. akkor szerettél nagyon,tudom,és el sem hitted hogy lehet hogy te bántasz és én vígasztallak,és én szerettem azt a fájdalmat amit okoztál,mert nélküle nem láthattam volna,ahogy a könnyeiden át rózsa leszel aki egy pillanatra megosztaná töviseit,harmatát,még az éjszakát is,ahol elõször lett virág a világnak
éjszárny-hírlevél
Támogatás
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tisztelt látogató, ezúton szeretnélek megkérni,hogy ha tetszik amit itt találtál,és van rá lehetőséged,akkor támogasd az oldal működését,tetszőleges pénzadománnyal illetve megosztással.ez sokat segítene abban, hogy az oldal továbbra is tudjon működni,és minél több írás, kép, zene születhessen.ha nem tudod, az sem gond, amíg az oldal működik, továbbra is ingyenes marad. a támogatási lehetőségeket IDE KATTINTVA tudod megtekinteni. köszönettel, éjszárny
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...és egy részlet Kerouac Útonjából, csak mert szeretem, és talán mást is eltalál:
"Azért mikor kinn ülök a folyó lerobbant rakodópartján napnyugtával, és az ég New Jerseynek nyúló sávját figyelem, és elgondolom, hogy az éggel egyközûen épp ilyen hosszü sáv föld ível a nyugati partig, és a földön út vonul, és az út hossza az álma mindenkinek, és lowában, tudom, a gyerekek ilyenkor sírnak, mert ott nem bánják, ha sír a gyerek, azért ne sírjatok, mondom innen, mert a csillagok feljönnek mindjárt, és nem tudjátok, hogy az Isten Micimackó? az ég pedig odébb a prérire hajlik, és hullajtja rá diadémjait, mikor alig tûzte még a fekete éjszakára, a föld áldására, a folyók csendesítésére, csúcsok sipkájául, és elrejti benne a végsõ part titkát, hogy senki ne tudja, mi lesz, csak az öregedés foszló ruháit tudja..." (Jack Kerouac: Úton)
Legfrissebbek...
- Isten valójában és a helyünk a világban...
- Hosszúszőrű akita - Shizu képek :)
- animgif
- Verseskötet - kell vagy nem?
- estvér - meztelenül
- meztelenül
- estvér - csendes eső
- csendes eső - lilinek
- estvér - zápor
- majdnem ott
- majdnem ott - zene
- szabó lőrinc - tenger - megzenésített vers
- szabó lőrinc - csillagok közt - megzenésített vers
- elfolyik...
- koi ívás
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